The reason why…
For the past 6 years I have been in communities where we do naked Wild Woman rituals in the jungles and on beaches, where we talk about our deepest fears and inner child wounds over lunch, where we hold each other and breathe together after we had a big energetic experience in a healing session or love making.
I hang out at clothing-optional hot springs, I’ve stayed in a home with a lover and his roommates (all genders) where there was literally a “no swimsuit rule” for the pool (not strictly enforced- you could do what you wanted obviously- but a fun rule nonetheless).
And I grew up with friends that would go streaking for the fun of it (no, not drunk or high on anything- simply because we thought it was fun- oh, the innocence!)
I find myself lucky that I grew up with a group of friends, who like all young girls had some body image stuff- but for the most part (especially during a really sweet spot in our teens) that we were all so comfortable being in our nakedness or underwear without it being a sexual thing. Even with our guy friends at times! (I later saw this experience was quite rare- but I am oh so grateful for it)
Now, I could do a whole other post (who am I kidding- it could be a book) on the years where I was repulsed by my body and didn’t feel good in my skin (oh, my skin, that could be in the book, too) but today I am going to stay more focused on the WHY.
WHY do I find it necessary to share my dancing, jiggling booty on the internet?
The main reason is- It would be my deepest honor to be the permission slip and inspiration for women to do the same.
It does NOT mean they have to go share their intimate dance sessions on the web. Or share “sexy” pictures (I put that in quotation marks because what is ‘sexy’ anyway? It is different for all!)
I DO mean having that sense of love, play and admiration for their body through dance and connecting to their sexuality in a conscious way– ripple into their life to confidently create the life of their dreams. Now, that would be world-changing!
But this is my line of work and I share my practices because it shares who I am and what I stand for. It shares the living, breathing, embodiment of my personal journey of now being able to confidently show up in this way.
Because even a couple years ago- even though I had been doing this work for a while I would hesitate and usually decided not to because 1. I was still nit-picking apart my body and caring if I was “in shape enough” to post something like that and 2. feared what others would think.
Another reason is that I choose to celebrate myself.
Like I shared above, I used to pick my body to pieces (like, literally stress-picked my face). But also cringing at every dimple, belly roll and any part of me that wasn’t toned “enough” (whatever that standard of beauty we believe we need to fit into to be accepted, seen as beautiful, desirable and worthy of being loved??)
So let me say that again- I CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE MYSELF.
I could choose to go down that spiral of picking– because at first it was a consistent choice I had to make to choose love.
Now, it feels like second nature to feel this way in my body. But it has taken a lot of personal commitment and practice to love myself exactly how I look and feel right now. (a little different than those ‘goals’ and ‘commitments’ we make to ourselves about getting in better shape…huh?)
I have a mirror in my kitchen right now and sometimes I’m standing there in my underwear (if you haven’t gotten it yet- that is my natural state of being! I’m not being any different on camera!) and when I’m standing there, not engaging or stretching or moving, I see the cellulite and dimples on my thighs and belly sticking out like it’s 5 months pregnant- and I can honestly look at that woman- with that body right there– and say “hey sexy- you look gooood”. And having that thought about and to myself was unimaginable 5-10 years ago.
Lastly, I choose to share myself connecting to my own sexuality and allowing my erotic energy to be witnessed as it moves through me (through dance or pictures) because I am committed to helping rewrite the narrative of what it means to be a sexual being. I am committed and devoted to the path of Tantra- where we see all aspects of ourselves as Divine. Where we do not shame and judge these so-called “shadow” aspects of what it means to be human in this physical plane of existence! That includes sexuality and also the harder emotions and feelings we have about ourselves- those feelings we often keep to ourselves and in the darkness.
I am committed to not hide myself in fear of others misunderstanding me or misinterpreting what I say or share. Everyone is going to have their own ideas on what it means for a woman to share herself dancing around on the internet.
And perhaps there’s a part of me that wants to challenge you…(insert little smiling devil emoji)
Do you judge me?
Do you assume I am doing it for attention or to prove myself?
Do you think, “oh, she must be a slut?”
“How can she say her body is sacred if she is flashing it around the internet?”
“No man will ever want to be with a girl that shares her body like that for the world to see- that is meant to be for her partner’s eyes only” (ya know, buying into the patriarchal narrative that women are property of men…)
So, do you have these thoughts?
My invitation if ever do- is to ask yourself– do I know that 100% to be true?
Now, don’t just do this for me. Or do, I’ll take it 🙂
But that question can serve you in soooo many areas of your life.
How often do we find ourselves, our friends or parents bitching and complaining about someone, something or some story and say,
“oh she probably is….”
or “I can just see him doing…that must be why he…”
Well… do you know that to be absolutely true?
Mostly likely you have no fucking clue.
But it makes us feel better thinking we know the truth behind someone’s actions.
You know?
So, to bring it all home-
Me sharing my fullest self with the world I can expect some people to not really read the words I write below the square. To not really feel my intention and purpose for being online in the first place (which is to help with the awakening of humans into their fullest expression, Truth and radiance through movement and sexuality) and just make up what they think about me.
AND I DO IT ANYWAY because it gives me the opportunity to love myself deeper– to trust myself, my Truth, my purpose, my mission, my intention, my dharma, my passion, my commitment to serve– even if people disagree or don’t get it.
If they aren’t karmically ready to receive what I have to offer- that’s okay. I am here to help support the awakening of one’s sexuality and life-force energy so THEY can show up in their life to love and serve in the way they deeply desire.
And people may not see that or be ready to see that. That’s their path- and it is a constant practice for me to remember that.
Constant.
At the end of the day I am sharing me.
What empowerment feels like to me and my life.
What the embodiment of years of work I have done on and with myself looks like in real life.
Your version of empowerment looks totally different than mine- and that’s the BEAUTY of it!
Remember when your mom, or teacher or whoever told you “if we all looked the same how boring would that be?”
Well, the same goes for our expression of empowerment.
And THAT is what I work on with my clients- to help THEM find their authentic expression of empowerment and allow that to ripple into their work, dating, sex life, relationships and simply, their everyday e x i s t a n c e.
You don’t have to go post videos and pictures of you dancing and crying and shaking all over the internet- but I do that because it’s how I express the embodiment of my work. It’s fun for me. It’s my channel of expression!
In no way would I ever expect or want anyone to do that thinking “that is what an empowered woman must do/look like/act like”
But I will always ask you, and leave you with now:
what does embodied empowerment look like for YOU?
❤️
Reach out if you want to talk more about this- I would love to help you remember your authentic aliveness and power.
With all my love and booty shaking,
Kelsey
