Why trauma work matters
A few weeks ago my friend reached out sharing what had been coming up for her sexually with her partner. She asked “I see you doing all the empowerment and pussy queen stuff… but do you work with people who are working through trauma and trying to heal from that so that they CAN show up empowered in their sexuality? So that they CAN get to that point you are talking about?”
A lightbulb went off.
Everything that I am talking about and teaching IS for healing and integrating trauma from past sexual experiences, relationships, or even just trauma from the playground that imprinted some idea about yourself. An idea you had no idea was still running the show or sneaking in affecting your ability to be present, connected and real with yourself and/or your partner.
Trauma can show up in so many aspects of our lives without even realizing it.
Many people don’t get out of bed and say “I want to go work on my trauma today”. (Some do. Like I did during a big part of my healing journey- but even then resistance comes in big time when your body/ego feel a shift happening).
But those who haven’t been exposed to the power behind releasing trauma don’t know it is a thing one ‘should do’ that helps with anything from confidence, living your truth, anxiety and way better orgasms.
So that’s why I talk about all the things you do want- to feel confident in your body, your sexuality, in dating or in your relationships. And during ‘the work’ we start to see what traumas/blocks may be popping up in resistance to you HAVING what you DESIRE.
We don’t go digging for the trauma (like some traditional therapy does) but in deciding and fully going for what we want we see what naturally comes up in our body that isn’t fully down with us having that. Again, it can be from a bigger traumatic event, or it can be something you took in as a child that planted a seed that grew into a belief system.
Making sense?
Whether it all clicks or you are still not sure (this is a complicated subject!) this week’s class we are going to focus on what a Gentle Trauma Release Practice could look like (or if you are reading this after class has passed it is what I teach in my 1:1 sessions as well).
I will teach you gentle practices that one can do safely without re-traumatizing yourself and leaving with one of the most important things–
which is *knowing how to resource yourself in safety* during practices on your own.
Or honestly, it doesn’t even have to be ‘during practice’.
This is for life…
Resourcing to me: is that ability to hold oneself when shit gets uncomfortable.
So being able to self-resource makes you an incredibly empowered human because you have the awareness and the ability to self soothe (i.e take responsibility for yourself and your emotions) rather than lashing out or making someone else wrong for not doing what you (or inner child, some unknown/unacknowledged part of you) wanted in order to feel safe/seen/acknowledged/celebrated/witnessed etc.
Learning how to do that for yourself and for your partner is a big thing missing in most relationships I see. Romantic or otherwise.
It is not about not needing anyone else to help you-
It IS about being able to stay present with yourself feeling all the feels, hold yourself in them (with presence), and release them (with presence). Because when you do this you take care of the ONE thing in life you do have control over- and that is you, your reactions and your ability to hold yourself during challenges.
